The Definitive Look Back: Predicted 2018 Trends Explained
Here we are! Just like an evicted tenant, 2018 is walking out the door in a few days, whether she wants to or not. She is saying goodbye, she is collecting herself. She is waving to her fans. Last year, we predicted what would trend in 2018. Let’s recap and see how it manifested and stay tuned for part two: predictions of what will trend in 2019!
Key:
✔ = Predicted correctly.
✘ = Predicted incorrectly, reality was different.
↕ = Had elements of positive and negative trend.
✔ Hillary Clinton
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: Indeed, Hillary Clinton most definitely had her publicity card revoked in 2018 and she’s snug as a bug in her mildly upstate NY hobbit house. We have heard her mutter and sputter this year, but she’s barely on the radar.
✔ Bernie Sanders
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: This anti-capitalist barely saw the light of day in 2018. He had some boring remarks about healthcare, but generally, not a headliner. 2020 Election isn’t far off, so we may see this ancient legend reemerge on the main stage once again.
✔ Voting
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Well a few people are still furious that Dr. Mr. Donald S. Trump, DDS, Esq., MD, Ph D. got elected a few years ago. Indeed, they put their foot down and made the 2018 midterm election among the most participatory of the entire history of American elections. Orange man bad!
✔ Mila Kunis
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Mila Kunis and Kate McKinnon simply snapped in their hit movie, The Spy Who Dumped Me. I watched this on an American Airlines flight recently and was simply hooked. Get into her.
✔ Pleading Guilty
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: More Trump shit.
✘ Public Displays of Affection
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: That new Cyrus girl and Lil Xan. Britney and her Arab slice of a man. Ariana Grande and whatever the fuck. Not only was being in love trending, but so was appearing in love.
✘ Caviar (Food)
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: After some “Yellow Vest Protestors” scribbled the French variation of, “Down with caviar- long live kebab” on a Haussmann-designed wall in Paris, we cannot, in good faith, say that caviar had a good year.
↕ Emotional Availability
Prediction: In
Reality: TOSS-UP
Notes: Cardi B and Offset’s recent maybe-planned stunt aside, it seems like emotional literacy is still on the up, but didn’t crest in 2018. Ariana Grande, Lady Gaga and more tried in their own ways, but without new Adele or Lorde albums, this year wasn’t ready to open up. And Mariah Carey’s (amazing but emotionally restrictive) Caution didn’t help the crusade toward transparency.
✔ Guacamole
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: Avocados stuck around, but we’re not putting Guac everywhere anymore.
✔ Young Thug
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Dropping pure flames a few times this year, Young Thug came out on top with beautiful music and bringing up some stunning talents like Gunna and HiDoraah.
✔ Lamborghini (Automobile Manufacturer)
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: Infuriating new SUV. Miami and LA boys still thinking a Huracán is a car worth something. Hop off.
✘ Spaghetti O’s
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: N/A
✔ Female Rappers
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Rico Nasty. CupcakKe. Asian and Cuban Doll. Karlae. Azealia Banks (of what we got). Cardi B. All standout. Female Rappers did a thing or two this year, just as Nicki stumbles around a throne she built herself.
✔ Farting
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: N/A
✔ Sex on Weekdays
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: N/A
✘ Day Drinking
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: I drank more during the day this year than any others. Aperol Spritz with lunch, champagne for breakfast, an ill-advised glass of red on an American Airlines flight…
✔ Timed Brunches
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: I encountered only one time-limited brunch. Time-limited brunch is in steep violation of the very principle of brunch in the first place: leisurely, without care, theoretically endless. I’ve been at brunches that lasted six hours.
✔ Brunches (Generally)
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: I was only invited to two brunches all year.
✔ Fidget Spinners
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: She fell off.
✘ Quinoa
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: N/A
✔ Shakespeare Reboots
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: There was probably development on this front. I don’t give a shit. Shut it down.
✘ Toyota
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: Wow! After that runaway Prius fiasco, Toyota was never the same. Meanwhile, Honda is tearing it up. They just snapped with the new Accord and the Passport’s triumphant return, not to mention solid Civic R-Specs.
✘ See-through Shower Curtains
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: This never had the come-up it deserved.
✘ Glamping
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: With Global Warming, is camping see a cultural exit? The only person I met who (accidentally) went glamping was an SA at the Hermes store in St. Tropez. She thought it was a yoga retreat.
↕ Evidence
Prediction: In
Reality: TOSSUP
Notes: Well fake news is relaxing a bit, but we’re still seeing a lot of questions bullshit being presented as real. On the legal front, this stay trending.
✘ Deep house music
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: Literally not even “EDM” is getting radio play anymore.
✔ Ayn rand (author)
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: Buying her books is a violation. You must steal them then redistribute.
✔ Snacking
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Triscuits, Ritz, Fried Kale Chips. Snacking had a moment this year.
✘ ICE CUBES (FOOD)
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: Unfortunately the Americans have kept ice relevant. But straws fell off.
✔ 2-n-1 shampoo and conditioner
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: Convenience vs. self-care. The people chose correctly.
✔ Saying “exqueeze me”
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Exqueeze me.
✘ Boating
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: We didn’t see much news about boating. Rappers are not looking for yachts anymore. There was only one billionaire money-laundering-via-yacht-charter-scheme story this year.
✔ Snitching
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: Lyft asked me to report a driver. I said fuck y’all.
✔ BEBE REXHA
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: N/A
✔ Loitering
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Standing outside the club for four hours. Outside the doctor’s office for 15 minutes. Art show after-party? On the sidewalk in front of the gallery. Other favorite loitering spots: Chanel on 57th street (after 9pm), the Social Security office in Brooklyn during business houses.
✘ Portable lavatory
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: I was in a few really nice portable lavatories this year. Wood-paneling and music type shit.
✔ Humira (prescription arthritis drug)
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Can’t say shit on the world's best-selling drug.
✔ Self-diagnosing arthritis
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: One of my favorite pastimes.
✔ Carpal-tunnel syndrome
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Ask your doctor if Humira is right for you.
✘ Mattress with no sheets
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: Unfortunately, you all do live like this.
✔ Frank Ocean
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: Only sad people listen to him!
↕ Kardashian family
Prediction: In
Reality: TOSSUP
Notes: It was a weird year to be a Kardashian. Kylie Kosmetics has established itself as a force, but Fenty and Madonna’s thing are also around now. Kanye has been going through “some shit”, briefly a Trump supporter. His authenticity is up for debate. Kim and the others were steady clearing racks.
✘ Artisinal soaps
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: Filed under '“collectively renewed sense of self-respect”.
✔ $12 Cappuccinos
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Starbucks just opened a big thing in Milan, too. This shit is here to stay.
✘ Retrospectives
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: Andy Warhol at the Whitney. Delacroix at the Met. This article.
✔ Gucci
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: For the burds. Gucci has completed its transition to kitsch bullshit emporium.
✔ WAKING UP AFTER 11AM ANY DAY
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: I have been waking up ass-crack early ever since starting to commute to LA monthly.
✘ Porcelain Timepieces
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: I have been waking up ass-crack early ever since starting to commute to LA monthly.
✘ Eating with your Hands
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: I did not touch a single morsel of digestiable matter this year.
↕ Laura Dern
Prediction: In
Reality: TOSSUP
Notes: After a simmering 2017, I figured Laura Dern still had some oil left in her good-fortune lamp. Well, I saw Star Wars and whatever. Expect her to be absent from next year’s list.
✔ Rosa Parks
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Barbz stay in school challenge.
✘ Golfing
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: Even the president took a break from the landscaped game.
✔ Sunbathing
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes:
You can sun if you want to
Fun if you want to
Stay in the shade all day if you want to
Villa with shore view, 'punzle I adore you
Bitches rock whatever she say they can afford too
What'chu know about open out key west, relax, recess, all up on the beach, yes
Beach sandy, look at little bambi in the two piece set looking like a banjee
Can we kick it in the Hamptons?
Residing where it's fancy
Porto Pino or the champagne
She a leader and a champion
Coco dream things, aqua green scenes
Palm trees caribbean queen
A paradise with me is so amazing
So elevating, switch up on the beat and sing
✔ Parking Tickets
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: I raked in the parking tickets across two countries and three states. Totaling about $800.00, $500.00 dismissed thanks to WinIt app!
✘ Grime (Music Genre)
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: From the art of grime icons like Milly B and Afghan Dan, Grime never reached its dizzyingly fucked-up heights of 2016, in which everyone waited with baited breath for replies that seemed to come within minutes of the initial send.
✔ Pizza
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: A picture of a pizza with chicken feet topping was the nail in the coffin for this drawn-out gimmick. Shut down the old shops, this joke is saying its final goodbyes. It had a good run.
✔ Bella Hadid
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Bella Hadid hit a rare late-season meme spree in 2017. She’s laid a bit lower this year, but her A+ body work- reaching its point of perfection in 2018- is worth celebrating.
✔ Ancestry.com
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Well, I’m 96% Finnish.
✘ Getting Swole
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: The new going to the gym is looking like you’ve never been to one. Protein mixes, powders, and shakes just couldn’t lift like they used too.
✔ Using Grindr in Airport Lounges
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: Set “Cathay Pacific Lounge for the next 6 hours” as your headline, and watch the dick pics trickle in.
✘ Chives
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: Chefs really went stupid with chives this year. I once ordered a simple toast and it was drenched in chives.
✘ Concerts
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: Taylor Swift gorgeous success. The slow-burn of Fyre Festival- still making news in 2018. The tabloids trashing Nicki’s concert. Concerts really had the headlines by the throat this year.
✔ Painting
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: We saw a lot of painting this year. And a lot of paintings get sold. This is a cool concept worth keeping an eye on.
✘ Las Vegas (City)
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: After a tough 2017, Las Vegas is bouncing back, big time. With Mariah and Britney holding their own in this desert money Mecca and Lady Gaga joining them in the new year, Las Vegas is officially popping off.
✘ Mariachi Bands
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: Ariana Grande’s friends surprised her with a Mariachi Band.
✘ Celebrity Memoir (Book Genre)
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: Busy Phillips and Michelle Obama led the pack for this species of book, with Jason (?) Timberlake, Kobe Bryant and Ellie Kemper dropping texts.
✔ Microfiber Clothing
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: American Airlines is still shoving microfiber blankets down our throats in our year of the Lorax 2018.
✔ Natural Birth
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: I gave birth in a river.
✔ Rental Cars
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: From the leased ‘baby mama’ Benz to Sicily By Car (my rental company of choice while in Italy) to German rental company Sixt to Audi-owned Silvercar, I spent more time in rentals than anything else.
✔ Selling Out (Activity)
Prediction: In
Reality: In
Notes: This happened way too much in 2018. From that dancing boy to Snapchat to countless celebrity gimmicks and prop relationships (and most prominently musician Grimes’ relationship with Tesla founder Elon Musk), this was the year for abandoning your principles for a nickel or two.
✘ Local Beer
Prediction: Out
Reality: In
Notes: Your Forest Hill IPA? I’m sick.
↕ Space Travel
Prediction: Out
Reality: TOSSUP
Notes: Although NASA (good guys) and Richard Branson’s Virgin (good guys) had successful launches, but so did Elon Musk’s SpaceX. In other bad news, space travel is getting safer (odds of dying getting lower) but not less expensive. Further research required.
✔ Duck, Duck, Goose (Game)
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: officially Replaced by Duck, Duck, Go, an Internet search engine that emphasizes protecting searchers' privacy and avoiding the filter bubble of personalized search results.
↕ Gooseberry
Prediction: In
Reality: TOSSUP
Notes: Although the year started strong for gooseberry, gooseberry didn’t really go anywhere. If you liked gooseberry before, you probably still like it. If you don’t, you probably still don’t.
✘ 2004 Film “Millions” Directed by Danny Boyle
Prediction: In
Reality: Out
Notes: Literally no one gives a care.
✔ ‘Sent from my iPhone”
Prediction: Out
Reality: Out
Notes: Replaced with “Von meinem iPhone gesendet”